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Friday, August 13, 2010

Night Time Thoughts

"I keep this notepad by my bed in the middle of the night, and I write down these ideas when I'm half asleep, and they never make any sense. ... And then I wake up, and I have these little notes that say things like, 'make everybody be twins' and 'electric toilet.' Those are not good ideas." -- Tina Fey in "Baby Mama"


First of all, this is one of the funniest movies ever. Second of all, this part of the film thrilled me because I like to keep track of my own "night-time thoughts". Deciphering them the next day is usually a challenge, but never a disappointment.


Here they are:


"Spherical wafers with chocolate in the middle."

When I awoke with this idea, I was so incredibly excited. However, I was discouraged in the daytime by friends when they informed me that such a thing already exists, and that I'd been enjoying the ones that most candy/chocolate companies already produce for years.


"Maybe God is hiding in the sun."

Absurd, yet worth looking into.


"Einige Dingen alte Leute nicht sehen wenn sie zu alte sind."

Not exactly sure why, but I wrote this one in German. At the time, it made perfect sense to do so. In English it says, "Old people not being able to see certain objects when they're too old." Let me clarify. This does not mean their vision gets worse. No, what I meant by this was that certain objects (books, chairs, what have you) become entirely invisible to people after a certain age. Like, cloak-status. Why? I couldn't tell you.


"Bean bag chairs shaped like sushi."

This one never made it to written form, as my friends were nearby when I awoke from a brief nap, and I was able to allow my stupidity to more easily be communicated through speech. In my head, these chairs were in an IKEA magazine, perhaps with some nice Japanese children sitting on them.


"Run For Your Life"

This was meant to be reminiscent of the "Realy for Life" fundraiser put on by the American Cancer Society. The twist in "Run For Your Life" is that amputees participate in a race and the winners are awarded with prosthetic limbs!


"If you picked up two ants, one in each hand, while they were in the middle of a conversation, and then pulled your hands as far apart as you could, could they still hear each other?"

With a notepad nowhere near my bed, this one got texted to me by myself in the middle of the night. In the morning, I read it, but since I don't have myself saved in my contact list, I was highly confused for a few moments as to who would text me something so ridiculous at such an odd hour. Again, I think the question is worthy of consideration, however brief.


"What if everybody's head was a giant egg and you could crack them to make giant omelettes?"

Courtesy of Sarah Garber. She texted this to me with the preface, "I think I just had a night time thought..."


"A drink made of blended strawberries and tennis balls."

Courtesy of Eddie Schmidt. This would assuredly be the world's most atrocious smoothie.



I hope you enjoyed this edition of "Night Time Thoughts" and please always keep a pen and paper near your bed!

And feel free to submit your own so that I can add them to this outrageous list.