The iPhoneless: We do what we can to get by.

So iPhones are all the rage. I mean, everyone has one. Don't you? I don't. My dad does. He says he needs it for business. (He's a high school gym teacher.... ????) But that's neither here nor there.

What's both here and there is this:

The novelty of the iPhone is stealing the thunder of some other shining stars of inventions.

Must I remind you of....

• DUCT TAPE??? It holds things to other things.

• TOILETS??? Highly... HIGHLY under-celebrated.

• STEERING WHEELS?????? You can buy colorful covers for those TOO, you know!

• The "H" key??? Ow would you feel if everyting you read looked like tis because tere was no suc ting as the [letter that alpabetically proceeds "i"] key???
  
  
  

• STONES?!?!?

 

http://www.walyou.com/blog/2008/10/14/funny-iphone-3g-facts/

I don't know who the masterminds behind these things are. It's a shame their lives have not been more emphatically recognized considering all the benefits we have reaped from them.

I have theorized about the possibility that I am merely bitter because my lifestyle is not conducive to being an iPhone owner, and here's why:

1) I am broke.

2) I am prone to dropping delicate electronics.

3) I am not near patient enough to wait in a curiously long line to procure one.

And even if the above three things weren't true:

4) I have palmar hyperhidrosis to an extent that renders me physically unable to operate a touch screen on any level. 

Basically, the essence of this post can be captured in a single sentence: I, the sweaty-handed/iPhoneless loser covet yours.

The End.