I texted Santa tonight. The real Santa. Santa Claus. It's true. I found his number online. It's 1224. That's his number. Get it? Like, 12/24. Christmas Eve! How clever. I wonder how famous you have to be to get your cell phone number shortened to a mere four digits. Probably pretty famous.
But I digress. The following is our textual conversation in its entirety:
Me: Are you really Santa?
Santa: Just received your wish list! Isn't it great I can receive texts? even at the North Pole!? I will look over your list now, but you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why... I'm coming to town soon! Ho Ho Ho! Sincerely, Santa Claus
Me: Thanks for answering my question, Santa. I hate you.
Santa: You're very welcome. Ho Ho Ho! - Santa
Me: You obviously misunderstood.
Santa: Hi there! Nice List! It's the most wonderful time of the year, isn't it? My elves and I have been working hard in our shop. I hope you're staying busy singing carols, hanging mistletoe and above all, being nice! Ho Ho Ho! Sincerely, Santa Claus
Santa is a jackass.
Merry Christmas.
1 comment:
Haha. I remember your original speech from sophomore year about Santa. Love it.
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