All of this blubbering is neither here nor there. What I'm getting at is this: New year, fresh start. Which means it's time to chuck out our overused insults along with those calendars and start overusing a whole new batch. (Evidently, I like to do this every other year. Keep my VAST amount of readers ((sarcasm intended)) on their toes.)
Allow me to introduce some new words for you to get accustomed to using on your loved ones:
"duffer"
A plodding, clumsy, incompetent person. A person inept or inexperienced at a specific sport, such as golf. In the Northern United States, a duffer is an old man, especially and specifically a dull or indecisive one. The slang usage of "duffer" describes anything in the realm of being inferior, counterfeit, or useless. Clearly, there is nothing "duffer" about the word "duffer." It's exceedingly useful, and I anticipate an alarming increase in its usage in the upcoming year. Mostly by me.
"clodpate"
A blockhead; a dolt. The part of this word that excites me the most is the "clod" because it reminds me of a clod of dirt. Essentially, when I hear this word, I envision a person with a clod of dirt for a head. This insult is perfect to use on those people who choose to make less practical use of their brains than I could get out of mud.
"ninnyhammer"
A fool or simpleton. Basically, "ninnyhammer" is single-handedly revolutionizing the "ninny" experience by attaching a basic yet underutilized, underestimated, and under-appreciated handheld tool to the end of it. Hammers are powerful. This should be obvious based on the fact that they can assist in building things OR deconstructing them. Have you ever seen a hammerhead shark? If you think I'm trying to say that ninnyhammers are cool, you're confused. What I'm saying is that if someone is a "ninnyhammer", not only are they a ninny, but they're a ninny in a smashing, pulverizing way. Congratulations, ninnyhammers. You disgust me.
That's all for now. I've got things to do, people. (No, I don't.) I would like to thank dictionary.com for being so damned convenient. And for having excellent words of the day, almost every day.
Feel free to leave any useful insults in the comments section. I enjoy a good insult, whether it be directed at me or otherwise.
2 comments:
Where the duffer is that niinyhammer of a clodpate????
Ummm....so I was thinking that duffer sounds decidedly english, and ninnyhammer sounds kind of like chinese....but what about clodpate????? my best guess was french, but you'd have to put an accent on the e. and I assume that they're all english in the end, so it's too sad that I haven't heard of these words until now :(
Well it's never too late to start using them.
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