Latest Night Time Thoughts

Recently, I "sleep read" a text from my cousin that said, "My neighbors are always disappearing..." As I drifted back to real sleep, I contemplated the implications of this message. I sincerely and semi-strenuously thought about why the fact that people were DISAPPEARING wasn't worth more than a text message. In my head, I pictured her neighbors literally fading from view like holograms, something I knew doesn't happen to most people. As I fell deeper and deeper into sleep I became more and more angry as to the lack of concern over this issue. Why wasn't anybody trying to do more to help keep them from disappearing?

A few weeks later, I was sleeping on a plane. I woke up and the first thing I saw was my nose from the corner of my eye. The lighting caused it to look darker than it really is. Therefore, I obviously thought I was black. And in my semi-conscious state, I didn't think this was strange in the slightest. Of course I was black. This "fact" didn't phase me at all, despite lifelong caucasian-hood prior to that point.

Right meow.

My newest Night Time Thought:


"Everything has always been leading up to right now."


Awesome. Holy crap.

So...

Profound....


I don't know why I text myself in my sleep. I really don't.

Rush Week

My friend Sarah recently asked me for an update on Night Time Thoughts. I was devastated to report to her that I hadn't had any I could recall in at least half a year or so! Oddly enough, once my subconscious was aware that something needed to be done, I had a new Night Time Thought* a mere few days later. The next day, I woke up to a strange memo in my cell phone application aptly named "Memos":

"Sorority house during rush wk"

For those of you who haven't been following Night Time Thoughts, this means I had sleep-typed, if you will, this idea so as not to forget it in all of its profound wisdom come morning. Essentially, it's a short dream I have that for some reason I feel, at the time, is INCREDIBLY important to write down.

Now, upon my first contemplation of this Night Time Thought, I was befuddled and mentally exasperated. As I lay there, trying to wake up while simultaneously reeling through my hazy memory of the previous night's slumber, I felt all hope was lost. Whatever ingenious idea I had come up with regarding sorority houses would never be regained. The future of Rush Weeks everywhere was simply doomed.

And then I remembered. I had envisioned "Rush Week" to be personified as a rushing wave of college girls LITERALLY rushing into a sorority house as a creature all of its own, wave like and with the force of a hurricane. My mind took a turn for the worse when I realized that this wave of girls was literally drowning the already sworn in (Is that what sororities do? Swear people in?) sisters and other pledges, ultimately resulting in whoever was left alive as being able to become a member of that particular house. Survival of the fittest, most blood thirsty, girls.

Yeah...I don't know.

I hope to never set foot in a sorority house for fear of having flash backs to this nightmarish Night Time Thought. Okay so I never wanted to set foot in a sorority house ever. I shouldn't blame Night Time Thoughts for that.

BUT I FEEL IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO BLAME THE FOLLOWING VIDEO (If nothing else, you'd be doing yourself a favor to read the viewers' comments.)

Feel free to submit your own Night Time Thoughts to me via Email. carsten.tice@gmail.com

*Night Time Thoughts need not occur at night. On the contrary. They can occur whenever one is mostly asleep and only awake enough to scribble down a quick note. Come on, people. It's just a name. Does Taco Bell ONLY sell tacos? Does Burger King ONLY sell burgers? No. No, I didn't think so.

Starr

Starr

The last night time thought I had to my recollection:

I "woke up" (if you can really call it that) with an incredible sense of urgency surrounding the idea of getting in contact with my parents' German Shepherd, Starr. I felt bad because I hadn't seen or talked to (???) her in a while. I decided the best way to remedy the situation would be by texting her immediately.

It was at this point that I kind of groggily realized that this was an absolutely ridiculous idea. For one thing, she does not have opposable thumbs. For another thing, she does not have her own cell phone. Lastly, I'm not even that fond of her.

She has since been put down, so now I feel kinda bad about that last part. :\

Night Time Thoughts

"I keep this notepad by my bed in the middle of the night, and I write down these ideas when I'm half asleep, and they never make any sense. ... And then I wake up, and I have these little notes that say things like, 'make everybody be twins' and 'electric toilet.' Those are not good ideas." -- Tina Fey in "Baby Mama"


First of all, this is one of the funniest movies ever. Second of all, this part of the film thrilled me because I like to keep track of my own "night-time thoughts". Deciphering them the next day is usually a challenge, but never a disappointment.


Here they are:


"Spherical wafers with chocolate in the middle."

When I awoke with this idea, I was so incredibly excited. However, I was discouraged in the daytime by friends when they informed me that such a thing already exists, and that I'd been enjoying the ones that most candy/chocolate companies already produce for years.


"Maybe God is hiding in the sun."

Absurd, yet worth looking into.


"Einige Dingen alte Leute nicht sehen wenn sie zu alte sind."

Not exactly sure why, but I wrote this one in German. At the time, it made perfect sense to do so. In English it says, "Old people not being able to see certain objects when they're too old." Let me clarify. This does not mean their vision gets worse. No, what I meant by this was that certain objects (books, chairs, what have you) become entirely invisible to people after a certain age. Like, cloak-status. Why? I couldn't tell you.


"Bean bag chairs shaped like sushi."

This one never made it to written form, as my friends were nearby when I awoke from a brief nap, and I was able to allow my stupidity to more easily be communicated through speech. In my head, these chairs were in an IKEA magazine, perhaps with some nice Japanese children sitting on them.


"Run For Your Life"

This was meant to be reminiscent of the "Realy for Life" fundraiser put on by the American Cancer Society. The twist in "Run For Your Life" is that amputees participate in a race and the winners are awarded with prosthetic limbs!


"If you picked up two ants, one in each hand, while they were in the middle of a conversation, and then pulled your hands as far apart as you could, could they still hear each other?"

With a notepad nowhere near my bed, this one got texted to me by myself in the middle of the night. In the morning, I read it, but since I don't have myself saved in my contact list, I was highly confused for a few moments as to who would text me something so ridiculous at such an odd hour. Again, I think the question is worthy of consideration, however brief.


"What if everybody's head was a giant egg and you could crack them to make giant omelettes?"

Courtesy of Sarah Garber. She texted this to me with the preface, "I think I just had a night time thought..."


"A drink made of blended strawberries and tennis balls."

Courtesy of Eddie Schmidt. This would assuredly be the world's most atrocious smoothie.



I hope you enjoyed this edition of "Night Time Thoughts" and please always keep a pen and paper near your bed!

And feel free to submit your own so that I can add them to this outrageous list.